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When individuals are suffering through unpleasant or undesirable situations and circumstances, they are often unaware of how they participate in creating or re-creating their experience. In severe cases, there is an addiction to suffering. Frequently, my first attempt at offering suffering individuals another way of seeing their experience is met with fierce resistance, which I call "the fight to be right." Often people unwittingly fight to maintain ownership of the very limitations that cause their suffering. Unfortunately, while fighting for their limitations, most fail to realize this is not a fight they want to win. Rather than engage them in a mental or emotional sparring match, I ask one simple question: "What is your prayer?" When an individual seriously contemplates this question, stories about how pain and suffering should or can be tolerated begin to recede. The ego has very few arguments that can survive the power of an earnest and heartfelt prayer.
Author | Iyanla Vanzant |
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